Corvid-19 is some serious s**t

But to Panic or not to panic is the trillion dollar question (which post some Trumpish economic stimuli threatens to be the 2 trillion dollar question).

The mis-information out there is mindboggling.

• From being told that the Virus came from Animals. But so did the HIV Virus- but we took it over like nobody’s business. We own it, we mollycoddled it and we nurtured it to be let loose into this world. We are the champions, no room for monkeys. We are the champions, my friends

Monkey see…Monkey Do

• Drinking Goumutra (cow-urine) will protect you against Corona-Virus ; I seriously have no words to address this absurdity.

• Someone is blaming a singer because she attended some parties post being infected. Meanwhile we share on social media pictures, addresses and full names (and adhar card numbers) of infected people in the city. We’re treating the affecting families as social outcasts and have been hitting the panic button like a junkie hitting a joint.

 

• We’re practicing a quarantine within a home. It’s a good test of how much you trust your partner or spouse. Safe sex and safe affection (ie the flying kiss) in the name of prevention which is better than the monkey cure (from above)

• Single people and introverts are using the Covid-19 as the PERFECT excuse to justify their isolationist lifestyle. Netflix subscriptions, amazon prime, TV dinners for 1; Businesses are flourishing. Invest in these stocks.

Dating has gone for a toss. You must specify in your Tinder profile that you are Covid-negative. And this profile someone will read. We’ve started reading profiles… what has the virus reduced us to ??

If you show up to have meet and greet coffee wearing a mask, you will be seen as either a safe bet or she would assume you’re wearing a condom too.

Men have morphed from being dogs to being monkeys.

If you throw caution to the wind and shake her hand, you will be quite the risk-taking maverick… or a self-centered S.O.B—but you can quickly add that you’ve never really washed your hands every time you’ve urinated in public- hence its no big-deal.

Also your junk that could’ve given you the HIV cannot be transmitted by touch.

But monkey-butt can.