A homeless man was bitten by a dog today and was reported at a shelter. I had to rush to the hospital because once the man left the hospital it would be impossible to get a hold of him.

I was doing double the speed limit, worried that I might be late. When I showed up at the hospital the nurse pointed me to a man propped up against a wall

“Sir, can you show me where the dog bit you?” I asked.

“What?”

“The dog, Sir. Where did it bite you?”

“I…You…Who are you, maaen?” He tried to focus his gaze on me.

“Animal Control.” I flashed my badge in his face but his eyes stared behind my head.

“I thought I was in a human hospital, maaaaen. Why there be animals here?”

I took a deep breath. “Sir.Were you bit by a dog today? All bites are reported to Animal Control by state law. It’s Rabies prevention.”

“Babies prevention? I always wear protection when I do them Ho’s.”

“R…Rabies. We get them from a dog-bite.” I showed him by bent fingers in a claw.

“Yes, Yes. The dog- Yes. The sucker got me good.” He thrust his arm in my face.

I stared at his red skin and squinted to find the hint of a puncture wound or a scratch.

“There is no wound here.”

“Don’t know. It must’ve healed.” He waved me off.

As I walked out the room, shaking my head over the 3 hours I’d never get back in my life, the nurse called me.

She pointed at a stash of about 6 coats on the rack. “He was wearing all those at one time. The dog did bit him- but it never got to his skin.”

Now that’s rabies prevention you can take to the bank.