Ballad of Love 1

A rose, a generous heart or a bracelet,
The question is; what’s in my wallet?
To be the only one that comes between her and her Calvin’s do I have to be wealthy?
Or did I just waste a tenner at the corner of Happy and Healthy?
I bought balloons, ribbed for her pleasure she will like, I bet
My chin is smooth, the best a woman can get.
I smoke a cigarette; it’s a quick picker-upper.
I nervously toe a mile to her house to get a camel post supper.
She opens the door and swoons, Manly, but I like it too.
I rip open my shirt, Madam, what can brown do for you?
You positively absolutely have to be here overnight. She gives my hair a twirl.
Surely I croon. My easy, breezy, beautiful, covergirl.
She touches my fly, Can you take a licking and keep on ticking? She asks
Yes, Yes, Can you hear me now?…Good That’s my task.
Her dress falls to the floor, You’re now free to move about the country.
I unzip. Help I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. My penis says to me.
Come on big boy, Do it. Just do it. She starts to parrot.
Big boy? But my five dollar footlong still a baby carrot.
She gives me a blue pill, Father tested, Mother approved.
Suddenly I’m lovin’ it. It just moved.
Then it keeps going and going and going. All along.
I think I’ll still be ready when the moment is right, come and gone.
My Ballad of Love doesn’t give me wings, if passion is a factor,
For erections lasting longer than four hours, you should consult a doctor.


  1. Capital One, Calvin, Walgreens, Trojans, Bounty, Irish Spring, UPS, FedEx, Covergirl, Timex, Verizon, Southwest, Life Alert, Nike, Subway, McDonalds, Duracell, Cialis, Red Bull … Wonderful use of common slogans. I had fun reading and singing the jingles in my head. Or, at least I hope they were just
    in my head as I was on a crowded ferry on my way home.

  2. Naah..beginners luck…I hate poems with a passion… Robert Frosts, Woods are lovely. Rudyard Kiplings If and Subhadra Chauhan Jhansi Ki Rani (The queen of Jhansi) and makhanlal Chaturvedis Pushp ki abhilasha (The desire of a flower) are the only Poems Ive ever liked…

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